The Popular Life

{October 25, 2012}   A Silent Scream

silent screamEvery day he comes here, touching my hand and gently squeezing my fingers.  He smells like a sweet cologne, his voice low and deep when he whispers that he loves me into my ear.  I lay in this bed stiff, each day trying to move and touch him back.  My brain is working, controlling my hearing, my sense of smell and touch.  I am sure it is controlling my sight as well but I cannot move my eyelids.  How can one be so weak as to not be able to move their eyelids?  A person who is alive but not living is too feeble to control their own body, and I am that person.

I do not know if it is day or night, it appears to be night all of my days. While I lay here all I do is dream, mostly nightmares.  I cannot see what is happening around me, only what happened to get me here.  A late night walk home from a party, it was loud and every single one of my friends was there.  I stumbled home unconsciously, laughing the entire way.  The air not only felt crisp but smelled clean.  It was no different than any other Friday night for me until that very moment, when I was knocked to the ground and each inch of dignity I had was taken from me.  My screams were lost in the darkness, if anyone heard my cries, no one answered them.  My head repeatedly hit against the hard, cold cement, the smell of garbage was near and I could feel the vomit fill my mouth.  The blood trickle between my legs as I was abused none stop, my face was pushed against the gritty ground, my skin peeled away slowly.  With the last thrust, something hard hit the back of my head and then there was blackness.

Why could I not have amnesia in this state? I lay here like a board unable to cry out, but for what purpose was there to cry out?  The only one who could hear me was my murderer, he was the only one alone with me that night and he is the only one alone with me now.  Touching my hands, and squeezing my fingers, whispering he loves me into my ear.

Thank you for reading tonight’s quick fix, so what do you think?  Hope you come back next week. © 2012 S. Blizzard Robinson


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